It has been way too long since we last had a baby in the family. Holding Baby Susanna this weekend, I realized that I had forgotten how it felt to hold a newborn. Not that I hadn't held plenty of other people's babies recently. I guess it's different when the baby is a sister, instead of a cousin's daughter.
She is so tiny and beautiful! She is absolutely beautiful. Call her "cute" if you'd like, but that word just does not have the depth and richness to describe her beauty.
Her tiny fingers and hands and mouth and face, her smile, her purity and utter innocence, her charmingly perplexed expression, even when she twists up her face when she is about to cry and looks like Yoda.
And to see some of me in her--well, it's hard to describe, but it's similar to how I felt in October, seeing Amy after she arrived in Utah before we flew out to see Jordan, just seeing her for the first time in a couple of years. Yeah, I know we are cousins, but it almost startled me to see the look(?) about her face, her mouth, her eyes, that somehow reminded me of me. Same thing with Susanna, except that sort of feeling was even stronger.
It felt so wonderful to hold a newborn again. She will be bigger the next time I see her, when I go home for the summer at the end of the semester. She won't be a newborn any more. But I'll be happy if she'll still fall asleep in my arms, if I can calm her by singing a lullaby.
I want to be home.
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(Adapted from a song by Lewis Carroll)